well well well, the old blogmeister...have'nt touched this thing in a month. i'd like to say ive had a writers block but i could have written so much in this thing i would have lost my fingers due to early arthritis.
interesting life i lead during redundancy, but the thing ill not miss is how much sleep i get to have. i love sleep, but for some reason i feeel more liek death in the morning when ive had more sleep than when ive had less. i can spend 12 hours head on pillow time (and i dont mean biting the pillow) and wake up feeling like ive just recovered from kemotherapy and a 6 month coma - but if i wake up after say 6 hours, i can bop out of bed, sing the cha cha slide and backflip all the way down the stairs no hassle!!!
im not entirely sure why and my mum was the same but does anyone get this aswell???....i cant eat when ive woken up?! it takes a couple of hours before i actually want anything, dont get me wrong im a BIG fan of cereal and tesco receipts would prove that but when i wake up, id rather not eat sod all as im just not physically hungry!
anyways as far as ramblings go i could carry the fuck on...but instead ill tell you what im doing at this exact moment:
im watching an irishman make an italian plumber float via what appears to be a badgers tail getting attacked by some round shiny things...can you guess what it is yet?
Sunday 19 April 2009
Thursday 19 March 2009
Exhibit A
heres the pic of my toe at the time, skin is amazing its pretty much healed over now;
basically when i took this photo the blood was gushing fairly quickly so you cant see too much but yeah it was pretty painful...
basically when i took this photo the blood was gushing fairly quickly so you cant see too much but yeah it was pretty painful...
Tuesday 17 March 2009
Slice n Dice
Well well well, bumlife has been just dandy...
I've managed to work on my music and its paying off, had my newest track played on bbc radio 1xtra last night.
On another note, i've done something rather horrific thats left me waddling worse than a dvda (double vaginal double anal) porn star...i smashed a glass in my room the other night whilst in a rush and there were some thick peices broken from it aswell as the classic tiny crumbs which i cleared up and put on the side...mistake...
i should have cleared them up, taken to the bin and problem solved but no; i decided to put it near to where i smashed it originally on the floor without thinking and the other day i had to grab my phone as it went off moving so fast that i knocked over the glass full of smashed peices, stepped on a rather thick peice and sliced open the underside of my toe (the one next to the big toe on my left foot)...
it didnt really hurt that much, it stung for like 10 seconds then went, kinda like paper cut but upon inspection have realised it ALOT worse...its like a page out of the nuts magazine "pictures for the stronger stomach".
the glass had actually sliced open my toe all the way left to right, and leaked all the small amount of fat inside and just bled to shit...i cleaned it up with the old cold wet tissue etc and took another look which made my eyes pop out my head...
i had could see the bone
(ill post up a picture as soon as i find my lead)
I've managed to work on my music and its paying off, had my newest track played on bbc radio 1xtra last night.
On another note, i've done something rather horrific thats left me waddling worse than a dvda (double vaginal double anal) porn star...i smashed a glass in my room the other night whilst in a rush and there were some thick peices broken from it aswell as the classic tiny crumbs which i cleared up and put on the side...mistake...
i should have cleared them up, taken to the bin and problem solved but no; i decided to put it near to where i smashed it originally on the floor without thinking and the other day i had to grab my phone as it went off moving so fast that i knocked over the glass full of smashed peices, stepped on a rather thick peice and sliced open the underside of my toe (the one next to the big toe on my left foot)...
it didnt really hurt that much, it stung for like 10 seconds then went, kinda like paper cut but upon inspection have realised it ALOT worse...its like a page out of the nuts magazine "pictures for the stronger stomach".
the glass had actually sliced open my toe all the way left to right, and leaked all the small amount of fat inside and just bled to shit...i cleaned it up with the old cold wet tissue etc and took another look which made my eyes pop out my head...
i had could see the bone
(ill post up a picture as soon as i find my lead)
Monday 9 March 2009
All gone downhill
what a fandabbydozey day ive had...
been doing a temp job cleaning a care home for old people..now anyone in this line of work knows how harsh that can be, as it involves alot of poo, wee and sometimes puke. i thought i was going to puke.
last week i had a cushty job, the next im cleaning shit off a wall in marigolds, how depressing.
on a lighter but darker note i got told someone killed themself coz they were bored
been doing a temp job cleaning a care home for old people..now anyone in this line of work knows how harsh that can be, as it involves alot of poo, wee and sometimes puke. i thought i was going to puke.
last week i had a cushty job, the next im cleaning shit off a wall in marigolds, how depressing.
on a lighter but darker note i got told someone killed themself coz they were bored
Thursday 5 March 2009
Random Comedy
im a big fan of random comedy myself and i bought something recently that made me smile very much since having the vhs's of them from back in the 90's.
the smell of reeves and mortimer, highly simple comedy but fucking brilliant, nothing like it about. the simple jokes they do at the table at the start of the program is pure genius, stupid random crap jokes but for some reason theyre hilarious.
"hey vic can you smell onions?"
"no"
"what, even if their really close up?"
they also include a couple of jordy men that roam around wearing bras and getting offended about it when no1 really mentions it whatsoever...genius
also a big fan of ross noble at the moment, if youve not heard of him i suggest to do some research. hes a freestyle comedian who is TOTALLY random and hilarious...and i really want to go see him with someone i know called gemma if theres enough tickets. watch the whole video below, its about glueing meat to your face to get rid of a sexually active vegan who says to him "want some hot lental lovin?!" and at the start if this vid the vegan has just left so hes trying to go "phew, got out of that one"...watch how it pans out....GENIUS
the smell of reeves and mortimer, highly simple comedy but fucking brilliant, nothing like it about. the simple jokes they do at the table at the start of the program is pure genius, stupid random crap jokes but for some reason theyre hilarious.
"hey vic can you smell onions?"
"no"
"what, even if their really close up?"
they also include a couple of jordy men that roam around wearing bras and getting offended about it when no1 really mentions it whatsoever...genius
also a big fan of ross noble at the moment, if youve not heard of him i suggest to do some research. hes a freestyle comedian who is TOTALLY random and hilarious...and i really want to go see him with someone i know called gemma if theres enough tickets. watch the whole video below, its about glueing meat to your face to get rid of a sexually active vegan who says to him "want some hot lental lovin?!" and at the start if this vid the vegan has just left so hes trying to go "phew, got out of that one"...watch how it pans out....GENIUS
Bum Life
well, the inevitable happened...i got made redundant yesterday and as much as i sometimes hated going into work, i would have love to have kept my job, but i paid the price for the current crisis and now living a bum life.
so...im laying in bed at 14:33 eating fox's 'chunky' triple chocolate biscuit watching some program where a posh twat is taking a group of randomers up a mountain. its a strange thing to watch but it has thrown a realisation into what chris moyles and that are doing for comic relief. theres so many things that can dent someone as they go up these great heights like altitude sickness, torn muscles etc...its pretty brutal
whilst watching and writing this the guy has just said "theres a big chance of hallucination as an effect of the altitude sickness...for instance...this black guy behind me has just imagined hes walked past a pizza takeaway"
firstly..."this black guy" is a terrible thing to say considering hes been walking with this group for 4 days so you would have thought hed say his name and secondly, a pizza takeaway? i didnt realise dominoes were so determined
so...im laying in bed at 14:33 eating fox's 'chunky' triple chocolate biscuit watching some program where a posh twat is taking a group of randomers up a mountain. its a strange thing to watch but it has thrown a realisation into what chris moyles and that are doing for comic relief. theres so many things that can dent someone as they go up these great heights like altitude sickness, torn muscles etc...its pretty brutal
whilst watching and writing this the guy has just said "theres a big chance of hallucination as an effect of the altitude sickness...for instance...this black guy behind me has just imagined hes walked past a pizza takeaway"
firstly..."this black guy" is a terrible thing to say considering hes been walking with this group for 4 days so you would have thought hed say his name and secondly, a pizza takeaway? i didnt realise dominoes were so determined
Friday 27 February 2009
Irish Wrath Strikes Coldplay and Radio 1
I think i can possibly die happy now...
I was listening to joe wiley on radio 1 earlier, i dont usually though as i listen to chris moyles then get off and crack on to some drum n bass at 10am - but needless to say im very pleased i waited this one out.
She had U2 in the 'live lounge' and all was gravy; then she started to interview them, edge was polite and so were the others and then joe said "oh look, heres the singer...apparently walking on the tables to get to me" which i thought was a good start. Then she started off with one question, very simple question but came to be the best answer EVER said as a reply on any massive radio station in the universe.
the question was:
Joe: "Now, i hear you (bono) say that chris martin from coldplay could be up there with the likes of Paul McCartney, is that true?"
Bono: "Yes very much so, hes a great harmonist and a great guy...
...he's also a wanker"
I was listening to joe wiley on radio 1 earlier, i dont usually though as i listen to chris moyles then get off and crack on to some drum n bass at 10am - but needless to say im very pleased i waited this one out.
She had U2 in the 'live lounge' and all was gravy; then she started to interview them, edge was polite and so were the others and then joe said "oh look, heres the singer...apparently walking on the tables to get to me" which i thought was a good start. Then she started off with one question, very simple question but came to be the best answer EVER said as a reply on any massive radio station in the universe.
the question was:
Joe: "Now, i hear you (bono) say that chris martin from coldplay could be up there with the likes of Paul McCartney, is that true?"
Bono: "Yes very much so, hes a great harmonist and a great guy...
...he's also a wanker"
Thursday 26 February 2009
All Swings 'n' Roundabouts
im sorry, but theres some pure geniuses out there willing to lay their future macdonalds workin selfs to bring laughter to the world, via youtube.
stumbled across this not long ago this night...
now, who came up with "go on, use the moped on the roundabout" because in my knowledge chavs usually get them things de-restricted so they do about 50mph...and that roundabout wasnt going slow.
i dunno about you but, 30mph in a space i can only describe as 'suitable for whoopie goldbergs size' is not something i'd volunteer to do
stumbled across this not long ago this night...
now, who came up with "go on, use the moped on the roundabout" because in my knowledge chavs usually get them things de-restricted so they do about 50mph...and that roundabout wasnt going slow.
i dunno about you but, 30mph in a space i can only describe as 'suitable for whoopie goldbergs size' is not something i'd volunteer to do
Wednesday 25 February 2009
Stupid people make me angry
todays been interesting, i think its going to stay like this until its all blown over and everyones been kicked out...ive had about 5 people come up to me at work telling me their "theory" on whos going and whos staying - i ofcourse am getting a little miffed as i couldnt give a dale winton about it and just patiently waiting for the go ahead to flock into the free world and get my cock out, its not the big brother house its a job; and stupid people make me angry.
had to do some maths on my money situation should i get the almight size 12 in my black hole...but then it got torn apart as my partner in house crime mr 'paddyinengland' decided to discuss gettin the hell out of the house as getting new people in is about as difficult as getting twins to make love in front of me
had to do some maths on my money situation should i get the almight size 12 in my black hole...but then it got torn apart as my partner in house crime mr 'paddyinengland' decided to discuss gettin the hell out of the house as getting new people in is about as difficult as getting twins to make love in front of me
Tuesday 24 February 2009
Milk, Spillage and Bullcrap
right, if theres one thing ive learnt, its to eat...ive been doing it since i was born...which begs the question - why do i still pour milk down myself when i take the first spoonful of cereal. its a mystery even deeper than the one where i seem to get covered in water near my crotch area everytime i wash up. scandalous.
ok so i had my meeting today and it was pretty pointless, they took me in, explained whats going to happen and then asked if i had any questions...i knew everything he had to tell me so why doesnt he just crack the smeg on with it; apparently "im better than most in my team" doesnt really work well in redundancy situations, makes me look more a bastard than anything.
fridays meeting is a more in depth approach to why i should stay or not, so i have to sell myself. obviously not in the sense that i use my body for any extra help, because im sure the strangely "guile from street fighter" style spanish haircutted man doesnt really fancy entering my hole to let me keep my job
ok so i had my meeting today and it was pretty pointless, they took me in, explained whats going to happen and then asked if i had any questions...i knew everything he had to tell me so why doesnt he just crack the smeg on with it; apparently "im better than most in my team" doesnt really work well in redundancy situations, makes me look more a bastard than anything.
fridays meeting is a more in depth approach to why i should stay or not, so i have to sell myself. obviously not in the sense that i use my body for any extra help, because im sure the strangely "guile from street fighter" style spanish haircutted man doesnt really fancy entering my hole to let me keep my job
Day One...
Well hello,
decided to post up my own style blog due to my housemate rockin his casbah blog every day with useless dribble, i wanna dribble for a bit..
had an interesting week invovling loss of jobs and swearing alot at my playstation...
my office has decided that there are too many people in it and are going to axe the staff up...theres about 60 - 70 who work here and after a non-surprising explanation about whats going to happen to some of us there were letters given out to those who are 'at risk' when clearly some of them are safer than a nuns batty crease surrouded by taliban.
ofcourse, naturally, i got a letter and it was again more jibberish about how im at risk and how there will be consultation meetings to see who goes n who stays, in a kind of x-factor way (as my housemates worker kindly noticed).
got my meeting at 2 30 and will be interesting to see how it pans out...
been swearing alot at my playstation also: im a 22 year old guy with my own place, a good job (maybe not soon), and some great things going on in my second career...but for some reason i stay up till 1am playing "skate" on the ps3 shouting obscenities because i cant jump onto a rail and off it again with a trick inbetween...
decided to post up my own style blog due to my housemate rockin his casbah blog every day with useless dribble, i wanna dribble for a bit..
had an interesting week invovling loss of jobs and swearing alot at my playstation...
my office has decided that there are too many people in it and are going to axe the staff up...theres about 60 - 70 who work here and after a non-surprising explanation about whats going to happen to some of us there were letters given out to those who are 'at risk' when clearly some of them are safer than a nuns batty crease surrouded by taliban.
ofcourse, naturally, i got a letter and it was again more jibberish about how im at risk and how there will be consultation meetings to see who goes n who stays, in a kind of x-factor way (as my housemates worker kindly noticed).
got my meeting at 2 30 and will be interesting to see how it pans out...
been swearing alot at my playstation also: im a 22 year old guy with my own place, a good job (maybe not soon), and some great things going on in my second career...but for some reason i stay up till 1am playing "skate" on the ps3 shouting obscenities because i cant jump onto a rail and off it again with a trick inbetween...
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